June 1, 2015

E-mail on schedule today!!!    (21 months down and only 3 more to go!!!)

wow mom you make life that side seems fun and exciting. But ya as for me i m doing good, it has been an intersting week. To be honest i m kind of getting tired of mission. I still like doing it and being apart of the work, but just waking up and so many rules and people just saying stupid things and being stubborn is just driving me crazy. 

  But also it is a wonderful experience i have learned so much christlike attributes The miracle of forgiviness and just how important the atonement is. It is truly remarkable this gospel that we are apart of.

This morning i read a little story about so guy trapped in a room with all of his deeds. and he tries to destroy them but can't and then christ comes and signs all of them and makes them all right. I don't know if you have heard that story. I think it is called the room or something like that??? but it is supper nice and i really like it and it helps me to really apply the atonement in this life.

So ya Mission tour was really nice we had some trainings that we got to listen to and we got to hang out in Eldoret for a bit and like i said engerized ust being there and hearing the trainings by elder ellis and president Hicken really helped me out and gave me some energy to endure to the end.  So ya me i m doing good i have no complaints except you and dad are the only once who wrote me today but oh well miss you all and love you lots

Hey Carson,  

     So having a crazy dream and just woke up.  Thought I'd check to see if you mailed and SURPRISE!!!  There you were!  Sorry that you're getting tired of this mission life.  I'm glad that you had a chance to reenergize a bit on your mission tour.  What kind of things did they talk about that you liked?

   And I'm really sorry that no one wrote to you.  That must suck a lot.  I nagged the girls to write today but then I kind of monopolized the computer too.  But Ii thought they'd use their hand devices to write on.  so that may have been my fault.  Sorry  We'll try to do better.

     I haven't heard of that story but it sounds very interesting.  I'll have to look for it..   (Found it and posted it at the bottom of todays post.)

     How's the teaching going?

It is going good we are just figuring out the area there is a lot of la over here that we have been working on but everything seems very promising  Tell Taylor i say happy birthday.

Lot of land?  Yes, I'll tell Taylor you said hi.  I feel like I should go wake everybody up so that they can come talk to you.  It makes me a little sad that nobody wrote.  Sorry.

It's just 2:38 am right now.  I forgot to ask you...did you  ever get the brakes on your bike fixed?  Those are pretty important to have ya know!

YA i did but turnout my rim on the bike is busted too so i get to fix that now Yipe so excited

How do you fix the rim?  Just get a new one?   Have fun with that!

 I also forgot to tell you about our roof.  We had a lot of damage from the hail last year so dad is having some of his clients replace our roof.  It's going from a lovely faded light brown, to a very dark black roof.  You won't even recognize our house!

So I hate to ask...but have you ever gotten an official release date yet?  We haven't heard anything yet.  I hate asking but just wondering.  

Did you tell me what the best thing that happened this week?  (worst, funniest, spiritual....etc..)

ya i think we ll just have to get a new one. ya is there some funny thing you have to do to inflat the tire like put water in it or something i m trying to remember Dad should me once but that was like a million years ago. wow thats cool.

It says sept 1 that is all i know. we  will probably know more sometime either in July or begininig of august.

Best = misson tour and hang out with all of my good mission dudes

Worst= the web today is really slow and i m just tired of traveling to kitale every week. My bike broke too

Funniest= Just having fun with members and all that
Spiritual = when i do personal study lots of interesting ideas come to mind that really help in lessons

Water in the tire?  Is that really right?  Hmmmm........

Ok...I'll just wait for the official word.  I'm worried that they'll just keep you there cause you're so awesome!  

Just read your story.  It is called The Room and it's by Josh Harris.  It's pretty awesome.  The atonement is a pretty amazing thing.  just when I think I understand it....I learn something new that I never thought was possible. I love the story in Mosiah 24 when the Nephites are in captivity and they are praying so hard that they can be free from all their hardship.  The Lord hears their prayers but instead of just releasing them from all their burdens....He strengthens them so that they can bear them up and still carry on.  I never knew about that kind of power coming from the atonement before but over the past two years, I have felt that power so many times.  There are so many stories in the scriptures that tell about this kind of power....Nephi breaking the bonds after his own brothers have tied him up, and the pioneers are amazing examples of being able to do remarkable things but not because of their own strength, but because they had help from the Savior because of the atonement.  Maybe I'm not making a lot of sense cause it's early morning....but I know that I could never have made it through these last two years if I didn't have his help.  I'm sorry if it's hard being over there...my heart is aching for you and is always with you!  But I know that Heavenly Father loves you and is so proud of you for what you are doing.  You've almost made it....don't stop now!  You can do this!  You've waited your whole life for this and you CAN do it!  Heavenly Father will help you...and the Savior is always there for you... Just have a little faith!  You've got this!

Thanks mom love you too.  Thanks for the advice.

Found this for you too...

Hey did you hear that Elder L Tom Perry passed away this week?  Kind of sad but he was 92 and lived an amazing life.  I really loved him a lot.

Any big plans this week? 

Hey ya that blow my mind kabisa

I really liked him and i can't believe he is gone.

This week not too much same as last week just finding teaching and preparing to baptize

oh ya and fixing bikes

Yes...it blew my mind too.  We used to always call him "Smilin Tom" when I was back in seminary!  He was great.

So I have to ask...at the beginning of your letter you said you were tired of some rules and some stupid things that people were saying...    What are some of the hardest rules to follow on the mission?  And what are some of the things that people are saying that you find stupid?  Just curious.  Not wanting to be snoopy...

Just waking up at 6:30 personal study comp s. ya really restricting but blessing comes from sacrifice.

Just every where i go all i hear MZUNGU MZUNGU even from old people it is like come on people really you saw me yesterday and the day before that and you haven't got over it yet. 

I can see how that can be tough and get old sometimes.  But just think of all the many things you can get done because you get up nice and early!!!   You'll have to ask grandpa sometime how many years he spent getting up at 4 am to get chores done, then a long drive to work at 6 am, then work all day, drive home and farmed till late at night...like after 10 or 11.  Then get up the next morning and do it again....and again....and again... for years!  And then ask your dad how he like getting up at 6 am every morning to take care of horses.  Of course, dad would tell you how much he likes being outside that early in the morning.  He loves to hear the pheasants and loves the crisp clean air.  But sounds like a mission is just getting you ready for life!  So enjoy that personal study time!  I wish I could get into that habit! 

Mzungu...is that white guy?  You probably are quite the novelty over there. 

YA ya ya lots of notices but all is well

Well I'm glad all is well.  How's your health lately?  Do you get much fruit and vegetables where you are at right now?  Or is it all cornmeal?  (Ugali and chapati) 

I ve had a cold lately but other than that all is well. no not many just beans and skumma week. = Kale.

ya basically Chapati.

Oh my goodness!  You FINALLY get to tell grandma that you're eating kale?  She'll be in seventh heaven!  How do they prepare it over there?  Steamed?  Boiled?  Deep fried?  I bet it's yummy right? 

Hey...just noticed it's almost 4 am.  Do you need to get going yet?  I don't want to keep you too long.  Are you still having to pedal bike back and forth or have you been using the piki piki still?

ya ha ha ha they fry it.... i don't know i just go to the hotel order it eat it and then walk away.

no it is ok i m not serving in Canada i m in kenya you can email for as long as you want so long as you are prepared for the week.  ya we still bike but because my bike is busted we used the piki piki this week

Fry it?  Don't tell gma that...or tell her it's fried in coconut oil  That seems to be the big health kick here now.  No more frying with butter or olive oil or canola oil.  Coconut oil!  What will they think of next?

So are you prepared for the week?  What kind of stuff do you have to do for that?  Check out your Facebook page or something?  Ha ha. Oh..that reminds me...I did put some other pictures of Demi's wedding up on your blog page if you wanted to see them. 

Hey thanks ya preparing for the week just cleaning the house wash clothes and all that

ok thanks eh

So when do you have time for all that?  Especially if you're spending two days to get to Kitale to email an then how many hours does it take you to get home?  Do you get much more time on Monday to get all your work done?  Seems like a lot to throw in to one day!  How do you do it all?

We improvise....

What?  What does that mean?

Just when ever we get the chance that is when we do it..

Ok Carson...I have to admit something to you.  I'm getting a little tired.  It's 4:30 and I have only an hour and a half before I have to get the girls up for school.  I hate to say goodbye...but it's getting to be that time.

I sure love you Carson and I'm so happy we can chat like this once in a while!  Thanks for putting up with your ol mom and for letting me lecture you and mother (smother) you a little.  I hope you have a great week.  Good luck with getting home today and getting all your jobs done.  Sounds like fun!  Be safe in all you do and remember how much we love you!  Cause we love you lots and lots and lots!!!

Hate to say good bye but can't wait to hear from you next week!

Love you!  Be good!  Take care of yourself!  Love you!

ya sure mom love you lots an hope you and the family have a good week.  Stay safe

Here's his letter to Ken....

Hey dad it is good to read from you again this week. 

Well it sounds like everybody is getting done with stuff and even i just realized the school year is about finished. Crazy 

ya but for me i m doing good the breaks where some how easy to fix until i realized that the rim on the front wheel was cracked alittle bit. So now i m in town trying to find an new one. and the best part is we are in the bush so do you think i can find some parts for a mountain bike out here, hahah NO it sucks but all is well. No complaints this side, 

It has been a long week full of ups and downs but all is good. hope your all goood to.

Hey good luck with the races eh. hope to talk to you more next week when i have more interesting things to write,

Thanks for writing today.

Love you lots 
Carson

P.S.  Here's a picture of Taylor's junior varsity rugby team's year end party.  They played MUD rugby then went bridge jumping (in the canal) to wash off.  Looks like fun!

THE ROOM

What is "The Room"? Well, there's a good chance it's been emailed to you at one time or another in one of those forwarded emails that clog your inbox. 

"The Room" is a dream I had of a room filled with filing cabinets that contained all the actions of my life, both good and bad. In it I was confronted with the weight of my sin and guilt before God. The dream concluded when Jesus entered the room and signed his name over mine on each card. People often ask if I really had the dream, and the answer is yes. I woke up deeply shaken, grabbed my computer, and began to type. 

The dream became an article. It was orginally published in New Attitude magazine in 1995, and then reprinted in my book I Kissed Dating Goodbye in 1997. In my newest book Dug Down Deep I share the personal, and frankly grieving, story about the night I had the dream. In a chapter entitled "A Way to Be Good Again" I use my dream to focus on the significance of Jesus atoning for sin by dying on the cross. 

"The Room" touches on the universal themes of guilt and redemption. How does a man find forgiveness for the wrongs he's committed or for the good he's left undone? Is our past something we can leave behind or forget? How can any of us know true forgiveness from a God who is holy and just?

"The Room" points to our need for a Savior who can rescue us from the punishment our sins deserve. Jesus Christ is that Savior. And "The Room" is a story that helps explain what he accomplished when he died on the cross for the sins of the world. I hope that reading it will point you to the Savior who died for you.

The Room by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed."

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.